Joseph McGuire is a crazy person. He writes crazy stories about crazy people doing crazy things. He sees strangeness in every aspect of life and puts in down to paper. He's also fun at parties and amicable with office colleagues.
If you have a project that needs some out-there perspective, a dragon to slay, or a cadre of villains to destroy, then contact Joseph McGuire for the first one. for the other two I guess call the army or somebody, I don't know; I've never met someone with problems like yours.
Expertise speculative fiction, genre fiction, comedy
Skills character development, dialogue, narrative research
Location Somewhere in the internet